Seeking His Love Read online

  “Hope so.”

  Rachel paused for few seconds. “Cleaning her room is important, but what about the other issues she’s wrestling with?”

  “She doesn’t talk to me about anything.”

  “Maybe if you did something fun together, that might build a connection and help her feel more comfortable with you.”

  “Like what?”

  “Well, what does she like to do?”

  “I don’t know. All I’ve seen her do is talk on the phone or watch movies on her computer.”

  “Then that’s your first assignment. Find out what she likes to do for fun, and then make a date with her.”

  He frowned and rubbed his jaw. “But I’m a fly-fishing, ocean-kayaking, mountain-climbing kind of guy. What if she wants to go rollerblading or sightseeing?” His face twisted into a painful grimace. “Or clothes shopping?”

  “All the better.” She turned and faced him. “If she sees you’re willing to do something she loves, then it’ll mean even more.”

  His gaze drifted toward the garden. “But how am I supposed to get past that mile-high wall she’s put up.”

  “That’s your challenge—get to know her so well you can scale that wall and win her heart.”

  He huffed. “I’m definitely not good at that.”

  She tipped her head and smiled. “Oh, I don’t know.”

  He shifted and focused on her, unspoken questions in his blue eyes.

  Her face flamed, and she looked away. Was she flirting with him?

  “Thanks for the advice. Can’t believe I’m so incompetent as a stand-in parent.”

  “This would be a challenge for anyone.”

  “It shouldn’t be that hard for me.” A shadow seemed to drop over his face. “My son, Tyler, would be seven this year.”

  Her heart clenched, and she swallowed. “I’m sure you were a wonderful father,”

  “I wish that were true.” He squinted toward the sinking sun.

  She didn’t know what else to say, so she laid her hand over his.

  He blew out a soft breath. “I need to head back inside. I told Kayla I’d check her room.” But rather than getting up, he turned his hand over and clasped hers. “Pray for me.”

  Her breath caught in her throat. “I will.”

  “Thanks.” With a warm smile that tugged her heart toward his, he stood and walked back inside.

  Why did his eyes seem to reflect so much guilt when he talked about his son’s death? Facing the loss of a child had to be devastating for any parent, but both he and Hannah said a drunk driver caused the accident. It wasn’t Cam’s fault. Surely he didn’t blame himself for his son’s death, did he?

  Chapter Twelve

  “So, are you excited about the audition?” The light turned red as Cam’s SUV rolled to a stop at the corner of Twelfth and Old Fairhaven Parkway.

  “I guess.” Kayla bit her lip and picked at the pink polish on her thumbnail.

  “Do you have the sheet music for your song?” He should have asked her before they left home, but he still had time to go back if they needed to.

  She glanced down at her backpack. “Yeah, I’ve got it.”

  He tapped on the steering wheel and shifted in his seat. Why was he so nervous? Kayla was the one trying out for a part in the summer musical.

  The last forty-eight hours had been a crazy whirlwind. Everyone had to come to the audition prepared to sing a song from a musical. So he and Kayla had spent most of Friday afternoon searching through stores for the right sheet music. When they came up empty-handed, and Kayla was close to tears, Cam called Rachel. She helped Kayla calm down and put them in touch with Jack Herman, the N.C.Y.T. music director. He assured them he had the song she wanted to sing.

  Kayla insisted she needed to have the music to practice, so they drove across town to pick it up, then stopped at a fast-food restaurant for dinner before returning home. So much drama over a three-minute song! But he didn’t really mind. He was proud of her for having the courage to get up on stage and try out. Hopefully, she wouldn’t bomb out and send her emotions on another rollercoaster ride.

  He glanced across at Kayla. “I was thinking I’d come and watch you.”

  She turned and looked at him through wide eyes. “Why would you do that?”

  He gave a half shrug. “I thought you might like someone in your corner to cheer you on.” The light turned green and he drove through the intersection. “Rachel said most parents stay and watch.”

  She licked her lips and frowned out the front window. “Okay. But don’t clap, and don’t whistle, and don’t do anything weird to embarrass me in front of my friends.”

  He stifled a groan and nodded. So much for scaling the wall and winning her heart.

  Thirty minutes later he slipped into the auditorium balcony and quietly took a seat in the back row. Hopefully, Kayla wouldn’t notice him up there. If she made it through this first round with her song, then she’d have to read a monologue cold and finally take part in a group dance routine with just a few minutes of instruction. He intended to stay until the end. His stomach clenched at that thought. How would he soothe her crushed spirit if she failed to get a part?

  Their disappointing conversation on the drive to the Arts Center replayed through his mind, and he sighed. He had hoped helping her prepare for the audition would draw them closer, but so far he hadn’t seen much change in her attitude. Of course it had only been three days since Rachel encouraged him to look for ways to connect with Kayla and strengthen their relationship. It would probably take more time for his niece to see he was making an honest effort.

  He scanned the kids seated in the center section of the auditorium, waiting for their turn to audition. Kayla sat in the third row, second from the end, between a short redheaded girl and a tall teenage boy with dark hair. The boy turned to Kayla and whispered something in her ear. She nodded and looked up at him with a dazzling smile.

  Cam leaned forward, scowling. As he studied the boy’s profile, recognition flashed through him. He was one of the kids who’d helped Rachel move into her apartment. Randy or Ryan. Yes, that was it. Well, Ryan had better behave himself around Kayla or he’d have to deal with Cam. He didn’t intend to let anyone break her heart while she was in his care.

  Cam huffed and sat back. Why was he so worried? Ryan was probably seventeen or eighteen since he was already driving and carrying passengers. A boy that age wouldn’t be interested in dating a fourteen-year-old girl, would he?

  Cam watched them carefully for a few more minutes, but didn’t see anything out of line. He’d let it go for now, but he planned to keep an eye on that boy.

  His gaze shifted to Rachel. She sat in the center of the first row with her head bent over her clipboard, jotting down notes. She leaned to the right and consulted Chandra about something, then Rachel stood and turned to the students. Her face glowed as she smiled at them. She obviously loved working with these kids, and from what he’d seen over the last few weeks, the kids loved her as well. They had a tight bond he admired, though sometimes it made him feel outside their circle.

  “Okay, we’re ready for the next age group, fourteen- to eighteen-year-olds.” Rachel glanced at her clipboard. “Number fifteen, you’re up.”

  The young girl at the end of Kayla’s row left her seat and slowly climbed the stairs to the stage, her eyes wide and her hands clenched at her side.

  Cam shook his head. The poor girl looked like she was terrified.

  The girl made an awkward curtsy toward Rachel and Chandra. “My name is Alyssa Morton. I’m fourteen years old, and I’ll be singing ‘Tomorrow’ from Annie.” She looked to the right where Jack Herman sat at the piano.

  The music began, and the girl belted out the lyrics with more enthusiasm than talent. Cam winced and settled back in his chair.

  The song ended, and the girl waited while her friends clapped. He was surprised at their encouraging response. No one had laughed or whispered during her song. He supposed they all kn
ew their turn would come to stand alone on stage, and that motivated them to support each other. Rachel had also probably taught them to show respect for each other during tryouts.

  “Thanks, Alyssa.” Rachel sent her an encouraging smile and gave her time to leave the stage before she called the next person. “Okay, number sixteen, your turn.”

  Kayla sprang from her seat, jogged up the steps, and crossed to center stage, her blond curls bouncing over her shoulders.

  Cam gripped the armrests. She looked great, full of energy. The bright blue shirt she wore made her eyes stand out even from this distance. He closed his eyes for a brief second. Please help her do well.

  Kayla faced Rachel and Chandra with a confident smile. “My name is Kayla Norton. I’m almost fifteen years old and I’d like to sing ‘Somewhere over the Rainbow’ from the Wizard of Oz.” She bowed her head and waited for the music to start.

  The first few notes of the introduction flowed from the piano. Kayla took a deep breath and lifted her head. Her voice rose strong and clear, floating out over the auditorium like a sweet lullaby.

  Cam’s eyes widened, and the hair stood up on the back of his neck. She was good, very good. He’d heard her sing with Shannon and Eric at Christmas or goof around in the car when she sang along with the radio, but he had no idea she had so much power and range in her voice. A silly smile flooded his face.

  Lifting her hand gracefully, she sang the next line, holding each note just the right length of time. Rachel nodded silently in time to the music, a smile on her lips and her total focus on Kayla.

  When the song ended Kayla’s fellow students burst into applause. The boy who had been seated next to her raised his fingers to his lips and let go an ear-splitting whistle. Kayla nodded her thanks, wearing a bright smile and flushed cheeks. Cam clapped loud and hard along with everyone else.

  “Thank you, Kayla.” Rachel turned and whispered something to Chandra, then jotted a note on her clipboard.

  Kayla hurried down the steps and slipped back into her seat. Ryan gave her a pat on the back, and they exchanged a few words. Smiles wreathed both their faces.

  Cam’s mind spun as he watched them. Kayla wouldn’t have any trouble capturing a role in the musical, but that might open the door to a whole new set of concerns when she started spending hours at rehearsals with Ryan and the other boys in the group. Though she was almost fifteen, she had lived a pretty sheltered life in Seattle as a homeschooler. It would be up to him to watch out for her and keep her safe. And that’s exactly what he intended to do.

  Rachel tiptoed up the steps and peeked through Cam’s kitchen window. He stood at the sink, up to his elbows in suds, scrubbing away on a frying pan. She smiled as she watched him, and her stomach fluttered. Their lives seemed to intersect more every day, and she found it hard to ignore her growing feelings for him. She pulled in a deep breath and pushed that thought aside. Tonight was about Kayla. Maybe if she kept telling herself that she could stay focused and keep her feelings under control.

  She tapped softly on the window. He looked up, and a smile spread across his face. She lifted her finger in front of her mouth, then pointed to the back door. The porch light flashed on as she crossed to meet him.

  He pulled open the door, looking handsome in his faded jeans and light green polo shirt. “Hey.”

  She motioned him to come outside. “I need to talk to you, but I don’t want Kayla to hear.”

  “She’s in her room.” He slipped out and quietly pulled the door shut behind him. “What’s going on?” He moved closer, and the woodsy scent of his aftershave tickled her nose.

  A shiver raced up her arms. She swallowed and pulled her thoughts back to the reason for her visit. “Kayla did a great job at the audition.”

  He grinned, and faint lines fanned out around his blue eyes. “Yeah. She was pretty amazing, wasn’t she?”

  “I didn’t see you there.”

  “I was up in the balcony, under threat of death if I made a sound.”

  Rachel grinned. “She did well with her lines and the dance routine, and her voice is terrific.”

  Cam nodded and looked at her expectantly.

  “So…I’m thinking of offering her the part of Anne, but I wanted to talk to you first.”

  He blew out a deep breath. “Wow. I’m sure she’d love to play the lead, but …” Concern shadowed his eyes. “I’m not sure she could handle that right now with everything else that’s going on in her life.”

  Rachel nodded. “That’s why I wanted to talk to you first. It would be a big commitment. She’d have a lot of lines and songs to learn, and she’d need to be at all the rehearsals. Everything builds toward our performances in late August.” Rachel bit her lip. “Is she going to be in Fairhaven that long?”

  “Yeah, she might even stay longer.” He rubbed his forehead. “I know she really wants to be in the show, but is there any other part you could give her?”

  “She could play Diana, Anne’s best friend. It’s a supporting role with fewer lines and less pressure.”

  He slipped his hands in his pockets. “That would probably be better for her.”

  She nodded, feeling as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. This was the right decision. She felt certain of it. “Her hair color might be a problem, but she could dye it.”

  Cam’s eyes widened. “Dye those blond curls? No way! Shannon would kill me.”

  Rachel laughed. “The dye washes out, but I don’t want to cause a family feud. We’ll get her a wig.”

  “That would work.” He shifted and concern filled his eyes. “Hey, I don’t want to make a problem for you. Do you have someone else who can play Anne?”

  Warmth wrapped around her heart. That was so sweet of him to think about her. “I’ll give the part to Haley Mitchell. She’s almost eighteen, so I thought she was too old to play Anne, but with the right makeup and costume she’ll do fine.”

  He nodded, and his gaze drifted away. He shuffled across the porch and sat down on the top step.

  Rachel sat next to him. “What is it, Cam?”

  “I had a call from Shannon tonight.”

  “How’s she doing?”

  “She got some test results back today. The tumor is growing.” His voice sounded strained, almost hoarse.

  “Oh, Cam, I’m sorry.”

  “They’re going to change the treatment plan, try something different. That’s why I’m sure Kayla will be here at least through the end of August.”

  “How is she taking it?”

  “I haven’t told her yet. I don’t want to scare her.”

  “Maybe it would be better if it came from Eric or Shannon.”

  “They were both pretty emotional last time we talked. They’ll call again tomorrow around dinnertime. I have to tell her by then.” He lowered his head.

  Rachel’s heart twisted, and she wished she could carry some of this burden for him.

  “This whole thing is so unreal,” he said. “That day I heard she had cancer again it felt as if I fell off a cliff and I haven’t hit bottom yet.”

  She leaned closer until her shoulder touched his, hoping her nearness would comfort him.

  “Why is this so hard?” he whispered.

  Rachel’s throat tightened, and she had to force out the words. “She’s your sister, and you love her, that’s why.”

  “Yeah, but it’s got to be ten times worse for Kayla, and I don’t seem to have what it takes to help her through this.”

  “You’re doing the best you can in a very difficult situation.” They leaned against each other, warmth and comfort flowing between them while a soft cloak of evening fell around them.

  “When Marie and Tyler died, there was no warning, no time to prepare. It was like a terrible explosion blew up my world. But with Shannon, the whole thing is strung out over months and years. The pain just goes on and on and never goes away.”

  She closed her eyes, praying for the right words. “That’s a heavy load, Cam, too heav
y for anyone to carry alone.” Her voice was soft, just above a whisper.

  “Yeah, you’re right about that.”

  She sensed it was time to share at a deeper level. “God is there for you, Cam. He loves you, He’ll help you carry this load.”

  Cam blinked, and his Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat, but he didn’t answer.

  “Would you like to come to church with me tomorrow? I think you’d find a lot of encouragement there.”

  He huffed out a humorless chuckle. “I haven’t been to church in years. The roof would probably cave in, if I walked through the door.”

  “Not at my church. We have lots of visitors every week. No one would make you feel uncomfortable.”

  He frowned and rubbed his chin. “I don’t know.”

  “Shannon and Eric probably take Kayla to church every week. It would be good for her to have that kind of support.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Lay on the guilt, why don’t you.”

  “Just stating the facts.” She shrugged and grinned. “So, will you come with me tomorrow? I’ll even let you sleep in and go to second service at eleven if you want.”

  He shifted away, breaking their connection.

  Her hopes deflated, but she wasn’t going to give up that easily. “Didn’t you say you know my pastor, Sheldon James?”

  He swatted at a moth circling around his head. “Yeah, Marie and I used to attend New Life Church in South Bellingham when he was pastor there.”

  She turned toward him. “Really?”

  “Yeah, I know, shocking, right?”

  She pulled in a sharp breath. “No, I didn’t mean…I just didn’t know you were involved in a church.”

  “Like I said, it’s been a long time.”

  Her mind spun as she tried to sort out this new information. How long? Why had he stopped going? Had he made a sincere commitment, or was he just attending to please his wife?

  The back door squeaked open. Kayla looked out through the screen. “Hey, I didn’t know you guys were out here.”

  Cam scooted away and looked over his shoulder. “Come on out. We’ve got some good news for you.” Then he shot a quick glance at Rachel with a hint of apology in his eyes.